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By the end of Monday I was very tired. Dad had a bad day do mine matched it.

After housework we learnt that it would be four thousand for a new roof; couple of hundred, new washing machine... and, looked like HDD was dead... and my gum recession is bothering me... well, by bedtime I was shattered.

Sittin in the bath I’d got to thinking: I had thought back to the aggression I saw on Friday on my way home; then the aggression I see on the streets of Liverpool on a Thursday and the stabbing ‘the other day’ and, I got to feelin really cheesed at the idea of it all. The only good thing was that the warm felt good on my body, so when I arose, I felt more chilled than I have for awhile.



After tea, we sat feelin satisfied after a good meal and, Dad looked at me and said in quiet mirth; “Two hours cooking it and ten minutes eating it.”



My response had been, “If I had a glass of wine, for every time my Mother has said that… I’d be very drunk, indeed…”



And, such is the nature of sweet memory, that my thoughts of the morning were forgotten, as thought that.



Later, much later, I watched the first few episodes of series two of ‘First Wave’.

... this whole email business got to me, it is funny, when it happens to them, after them hassling you. Karl says its a problem with yahoo... and, not me. Good to know, but still damn irritating.

I awoke at 9:30 on Thursday, which is late for me, but I’d slept well. Yet, that said, my body was tired. But, I’d got on with the housework, in my blue rob, pink fluffy duster on a stick in hand. I’d had enough time f’t coffee and, then it had been off to physiotherapy. Yet again we’d discussed my options and, once more I’d clarified my position; I’d not up for having my spine fused. But it had been sore, very sore, so we’d postponed any exercise till next time, when we’ll go over my abdominal exercises. Once home, I’d had enough time for a cup of tea with Dad and, a stewed pear with honey, All-bran and ice-cream. Then it had been on the way to the dole… and, courtesy of a phone-call earlier on in the week I’d had no problems: walked in, waited two minutes, then had signed on. I’ve even been able to keep my ‘old’ signing-on time, when most of those on Workforce… Oops, Workfare, have had their times changed. And, the time they’ve given 3-4, which is one of the worst possible if you stress about ‘too many people’ being around. So, for that reason alone, I consider myself fortunate. Well, I had managed to rest awhile, then got out again and, travel to Liverpool and voluntary work. It had been a very busy night. By the time I was returning home my body had ached as much as it had first thing in the morning.



Come Friday morning, I rose wondering where I was and what day it was. It had been 9:30 and, I slowly grew aware that it was Friday and the house was quiet. It seemed Dad had gone shopping without me. I can’t say I blame neither him, nor myself in this instance, as I’d felt as physically tired as I’d felt the day prior. Needless to say, I had been up and dressed when he got home, so I could help bring the groceries with him, feeling briefly guilty, until my body had reminded me that I still needed to rest.

I was up early on Monday the 23rd, having a myriad of thoughts on my head and, aches in my body. I’d taken my pain-killers and, was soon wired and, doing the housework with Dad, still annoyed that the previous Thursday at the project, I’d left my new reading glasses at the church. And, the fellow two door to the right was having his roof done, which was a real source of interest to Dad. Anyways… I’d needed to ‘punish’ the knee, so took it for a brisk for mid-afternoon. I say ‘brisk’, as the sun we’d had was going and, the air had been cooling goodstyle.

On my return I opened up the PC to attend to an appointment with Igneus that was a month out, the wrong way, so I’d emailed; and then later phoned, only to learn that their computer system was down, so was communication, as far as I was concerned, as I use the phone rarely during the daytime. The problem was for me, on that occasion I’d had no choice, which left me wondering: ‘How would a world cope Now, without computers?’ And, I also learnt that my yahoo email account had been acquired, for nefarious purposes, in that several emails had gone out to people in my address book: which meant that they had received a link in an email, purporting to me, that would take the recipient to an advertisement, for something or other.

Now a couple of people I know tried to be helpful by emailing me to let me know what had happened. But, one email I received the first after the ad went out, came from my ex-neighbour, Julie Smith a deputy headmistress in Neston, who sent me a really curt email, that had employed some very direct language indeed. I had been offended by it, so had relied, “not viruses. malaware. just had a crappy response from someone on my address book because of it... have used malare software and, cccleaner. fairly sure it's not stemmed from my machine Now, but had piggy-backed my account’

I’d just had a bugger of a time with the PC, so after trying to be helpful for five [[minutes that is]].which turned into thirty, as I prepared a USB for some writing that I’d wanted to do, as I watched ‘The Zombie Diaries 2. World Of The Dead’, and had sought ‘adequate distraction from the events of the day. It was better than the first and, not a bad little British movie, out now on DVD, I believe.

I awoke about 9:30 on Saturday, mind reeling with idea’s, for my story. Yet, I was still half-asleep and, couldn’t even think of what day it was. Even so, the first thing I did after going to the bathroom was hit the keyboard ans finish a chapter of the new story and, give the last chapter the direction it needed.



Well, by the time I arose and had two coffee’s I had greeted Dad, already having got the washing out on a sunny, blue-sky blustery day, when I had a mission on, for the shopping I had missed out on. And, as some of that shopping had been garlic, it had to be acquired.



I had acquired my coffee, then made to go through to my room to write. And, it had been then that Dad had noticed it was raining. He was straight outside to bring it in and, I pulled on my indoor shoes and carcoat over my robe and trousers, then ran out to join him bringing the washing in. The weather had changed radically within a short time and, as he ironed I finished making his bed, then went to write down my musing, before a shave and dressing.



After a good deal of prevarication, I had got out and, I’d enjoye the walk very much, even though it was extremely windy; and by the time I’d got home, my left hip was aching to hell and back. But, the mission had been a success and, I’d got what I’d intended. I had also got three small ‘new’ Toblerone bars, with fruit and nut, for Dad and I while we watch a documentary n the evening. It seems he prefers it to Daim (Dime) bars.



And, come tea-time I got creative and, although the main course went well, the rice pudding wasn’t to Dad’s taste, not that I’d minded, as I ate the lot.



Come the evening, I looked for a film I wanted and, an episode of ‘Fringe’. Needless to say, once acquired, I had to watch the latest ‘Fringe’.

And, as I travelled after the funeral, I got hassled three times on Wednesday; ignore the drunks, the worst was the old man who pushed me. The second amused me though, hassling me badstyle at my hat. And, as they kept on, I’d kept shtum, which annoyed the louder one even more; then as I stared... he told his mate, "My teacher used to stare at me like that!"



Imagine how I’d grinned inside, at that!

‘Scorpion King 3’ is good and funerals are not to be looked forward to, I decided today.



Am going to one tomorrow... my Uncle.



My Father is sorry about his loss: he got the watch my grandfather intended for me.



But Aunty Marion was well cool, when my Mum died, so I'm going, for her.



She’s did an awful lot for Uncle Tommy, to keep him at home, while he died, I admire her, he had Cancer of the spine, groin and penis; puts my pain in the shade, in comparison.



I admire her greatly; an she makes awfully good mince-pies.

I awoke just after nine on Saturday, saw the blue-sky when I’d opened the curtains and, thought it would be a good drying day, for Dad’s washing. It was only when I got up to make a coffee did I looked out the living-room window at a very heavy frost on the ground, the heaviest that I’ve seen since Winter began.



And, I’d a mission to complete, red or black grapes for Dad; and split peas that I use in my cooking; and milk and drinking chocolate, for our bedtime drink. Well, Dad’s, but like it as well. All of these things got missed from our regular shop, somehow.



I’d finally risen at about one, due to lassitude and, a modern ‘50’s style monster movie, ‘Sand Shark;’ a most entertaining piece of escapism.



And, I’ll conced that I continued with ‘wasting-time’, by watching the latter half of ‘Undergroud’, which I’d held over from seeing from the day prior. Now, there was a well-made schlock horror, with a kill-rate to satisfy the most ardent fan of such films.



Anyway, I got out, then having acquired all I’d intended, I went home to finish the last of the giner wine with Dad. And, although there wasn’t much, it was as warming as I’d needed, as it had been damn cold out.



The good thing was that there’d been enough change to buy a pint. Heck, I’d got the money for a travel ticket, but hadn’t enough for a pint at Peter’s 50th.



Well, I’d rested awhile, the rose top cook; doing cauliflower an broccoli florets with pasta, in a cheese sauce mixed with pasta, as an accompaniment, to the smoked mackerel. Then after tea I’d watched the end of the new ‘Person Of Interest’ and then, the new ‘Fringe’.



The weather was as I’d imagined it would be and, thankfully I’d made all my connections alright. As it was, I’d got to th Egremont Ferry [[or, the Eggy Ferry, as seem to I recall]] at abput 7.00 with Peter and Vicky getting there about 7:30 and, the first thing they’d discussed was Vicky being right.



It seems that they’d been discussung who would be the first to arrive on time, or early: well, that’s when my name had come up.



And, just as Peter had predicted, the next one’s to arrive were Jon and Jaime, who had arrived shortly after P&V Then Mandy and Steve had arrived and joined the table – and, I got the warmest of hugs and, dark chocolate whiskey truffles, made by her: a belated Christmas present.



They had been well-presented in a well cool silver box, in which each sat in a wrapper inside cellophane, on a purple cellophane base. The who lot was given to me in a purple plastic bag, that reminded me of those used to pacify objects in the tv show ‘Warehouse 13.’



Now, standing is easier for me than sitting in a pub-style chair, so I gave my seat to Mandy, knowing I’d be gone in thirty-five minutes, And, as I stood there with Vicky opposite me and Mandy to one side and Jaime to the other, they both got their mobiles out. Well, Vicky had clocked my face, which must have spoken volumes, from the amusement that showed on hers.



She knows how I feel about mobiles, so yes, I can well imagine the face I was pulling, as I had looked from one to the other.



By the time I’d reached the end of my pint, I’d seen nigh on all the people I’d wanted to see. Then, moments after my empty glass had been taken away from the table I’d got to meet a few more; so all-in-all, I’d got what I’d wanted and, been the first to sign Peters fiftieth birthday autograph book.



Then, it had been time to go time: and, I’d got the eight forty seven bus back to Birkenhead and my train home.



Coming through Birkenhead Central, I was struck once again, by how little women can wear on a damn cold night out and, how some women should never wear high heels, as they do it so badly. Or, come to that, some women should never wear a short dress or skirt, as they spend every minute or so, hitching down the hem.



Then once home, I made my Dad his drink, then sat on my bed to type, as I watched Dolph Lungren in ‘The Name Of The King 2’, a film by Uwe Boll, who made the first and the third of the Bloodrayne films. It was a real Neil film.

Feeling unnecessarily old, I arose to go to the Azda with Dad> I hadn’t got to bed feeling happy with Roger and still dwelt on it as I rose, slowly. For a change, it was pleasant weather on a shopping day and, the Azda itself was not a full of people as usual, with less staff on the tills, Dad had noted.



Come the afternoon, I went travelling to Ingeus in Birkenhead, which was okay-ish, as Keith seems to be delaying the placement part of the ‘programme’ at present. But after all I’d encountered at the dole the Thursday and, in weeks to come, it’s a minor blessing, considering all the messing around I expect.



I did some writing, which I’d been pleased with and, when I logged onto VR I’d found two messages intended for me that meant well, one of which was particularly touching. And, when I finally went to bed, I’d felt better than I had.

Come the end of Thursday night I was feeling quite shattered and, more than a little undervalued. You see, I’ve been doing voluntary work at the soup kitchen for just over ten years and, as my only requisite had been that I got my expenses: no matter how I’d feel, or no matter the weather. Well, when we were with the Uni, that worked. But they pulled out to find funding for asylum seekers, their new pet cause; and Roger and a few of us just carried on. And, Roger being Roger, he sometimes makes Life a tad awkward, like saying ‘there’s jobs out there’, like some who are in work can afford to say, while I know otherwise. And then, he gets difficult with expenses, whilst being friendly with the latest skinny pretty on the project. Recently it’s a French woman, with some issues, who acquired the artwork I took in for another volunteer, which took the piss. I ended up feeling quite unappreciated: I am unemployed and have been doing it for eleven years. Yet all I ask is my train fare. And, it’s getting harder to acquire and, I so hated asking in front of the french girl, he seemed to want to impress. But, though I needed the money, I’d had enough. It’d been busy at the door, plenty got fed and, truth be told, I’d had enough of games and gamers, so just went home. “I’ll sort you out next week” he’d said as I made to walk up the drive. ‘Next week’ would be too late though. I’d needed that money for Saturday and, travelling to a friends ‘fifty birthday bash.’

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Oceanne
12:59 Jan 13 2012

I do not know if it would be any consolation,but I value and appreciate you.

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Wednesday I went a walk in the afternoon; in part to get a few odds and sods, ‘n very much so, to stretch my legs and back. On my return I made my famous chicken casserole, with dumplings. It’s one of my favourite meals – and, it’s a pure leftover meal, though with a spinach base, ‘n the leftover chicken lightly grilled, with garlic.

When I make up the dumplings, I make up with cubes of cheese, ‘n part cook ‘em first, then add them to the part cooked casserole and, it’s ever-so good; even when one adds a spoonful of All-Bran; with the tip of a teaspoonful of french mustard. Anyway, I’d needed to rest the knees when I’d begun cooking, so needless to say I’d rested awhile after tea, and then did some drawing, which I’d posted on VR. Come three in the morning I woke to a fierce wind blowing down the drive, And, though I’d got to sleep again eventually, it was just as bad first thing in the morning, whilst being sunny, while we were doing the housework with Dad, Then as I washed and finished dressing, I’ll concede to finding myself wondering about the way of day, as I would face a travelling and the dole, then later my voluntary work.

I awoke feeling sluggish and, continued to feel like that through much of the day; head feeling fuggy and muggy and limbs achy; but the weather was pleasant, so I took myself into the back garden, to prune, using the secateurs I’d bought. Though there was stuff to prune, it was interesting to note just how much was still showing signs of Life, that any other year would have been well into hibernation. And, there were a couple of Crocus and a Snowdrop showing. Futhermore, whilst I’d been working away, the Robin came and started seeking food by my left toe and, when I finally asked if I could move, it short beneath me, then flew away. That made my day.

Come teatime, I got let loose, so did pea’s and pulse and, fried it with an egg; then made dumplings and, did a light marg glaze on them and, placed them beneath the grill. This I’d served with the boil-in-the-bag cod in sauce: “Most enjoyable.”

Later, I started watching ‘Underground’ (2011) and, finished ‘Catch .44’ (2012) and, I’d recommend both, a monster dash slasher movie and, a ‘Pulp Fiction’ wannabee, that was well-worth seeing and, hearing, for some well crisp dialogue. And, I’d thought that Bruce Willis was good in it and boy, was Forest Whitaker menacing!

My Uncle Tommy died at 3:00 a.m Sunday morning. Then, a phone call at something 0'clock was "a reet bugger", as there's always that 'what the hell do I say' bit, especially in lieu of the fact, that a few hours later, when I told Dad of his brothers death, he mused aloud, "That leaves just me then..."

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DestroyingAngel
20:28 Jan 21 2012

I'm so sorry to hear of this. *big hugs*

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‘It was a sunny Thursday and housework with bleary-eyes, after a sleepless night thanks to the heavy winds’ morning.



And, after the housework, I got a lift to physiotherapy, as the wind persisted, carrying a bag of magazines, that I hoped might be suitable for the waiting-room there: mostly men’s mags, no Fourm though, as I didn’t think it’d go down well.



The Physio knows I’m not cool with groups and, knows I wouldn’t appreciate joining one, so gave me a few more exercises, to aid me, then it was onto the bus and travelling from the hospital to the station, then get the train home, feeling tender and more than a tad fatigued.



Saying that, after a rest and a warm, I was up and, ready to go to voluntary work…



“And, I’d have to admit: it’d be fun getting those little polysterene cups to stay up in the wind… the ones we use for the coffee and tea, placed upside down, prior to pouring… it’ll be like watching loadsa little headless Daleks goin all over the show!” I thought, as I lit a smoke and, pictured the scene, whilst waiting for the train, more than a little amused at the notion…

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moonkissed
16:18 Jan 05 2012

Long day.

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I spent Wednesday morning de-cluttering, which I’d hated, You see, there’d been a suitcase up in the loft, on a chipboard shelf that was blowing under it’s weight, that contained many comics and magazines.



Now, I accepted that it was heavy. I even acknowledge that it had to be sorted through. Nut, actually doing it was hellish, ‘coz there’d been a thousand images and associated memories that I came upon, as I did so.



And, as an aside, there were several things of personal interest to me, left in some of the magazines, which just dropped out and, had to be looked at.



Like I say, it was hellish; stressful and emotionally quite draining.



As it happens, by the time the suitcase was empty and I’d half-filled the recycling-bin.

And, looking at what I’d achieved, when I showed him my artwork and stories, all Dad had to say was, “Well, did you get paid?”



But, by then I was about two hours late in getting out. Yet, I’d a mission to fulfil. I’d decided to go to town to get a new pair of secateurs, to replace the one’s I’d thrown into the garden waste before Christmas, when pruning: and, then the bin had been emptied. So, still feeling emotionally and, physically very knackered I’d left the house and caught the train.



Once I’d sat down I got looking round (as you do; and the woman in the window seat across the aisle had her paper out So, I’d looked at the headline (as you would). It’d been the sentence for the verdict of guilty given to the killers of Stephen Lawrence, nearly eighteen years ago.



And, as I got talking with the lady about the case, I’d got to recall why I left the police force, so many years ago. ‘Coz I had joined with the somewhat naïve idea that I’d be helping people. It was a certain Sgt. Broughton who cleared up that misunderstanding for me, when he had said, “Don’t trust the public, it’s now us against them…”



And that was the attitude then, for sure. It’s the main reason I left and Bruche, the training camp in Warrington was closed. They were teacjing institutionalised racism and violence. Heck, every black who joined my class left before me and, I was only there eleven days….Just long enough to get into a uniform and get the class photo taken. Aye, those were the times then and, truth be told, it’s hardly surprising to me and many other people, that the death of a black youth was investigated so poorly.



After I got home, I rested for fifteen minutes, then began to cook the evening meal, chicken casserole and cheese dumplings. I’d definitely been one of my better ones.



Needless to say, when I went back out, to Karl’s, the weather was bad again; fierce, ferocious and, plain damn ‘orrible. And, my joints didn’t like it, whatsoever. Then, a couple of hours later, as he walked me to the station, it seemed even worse.

After one day of pleasant weather it was then back to... a walk inna storm, to get my coin on Tuesday. The walk had been interesting, but tiring: smiles with passers-by; polite motorist (singular) and green wheelie-bins scattering the road… and, the occasional dead fashion shoe...

I got in an 11:00 and back was achy... so rested. By one the wind has dropped and there's a blue sky. If I’d ANY energy left, I would have liked to go to the Mere...

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moonkissed
15:09 Jan 03 2012

Maybe later, get your rest.

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New Years day 2012 was a wet washday, as so many have been in 2011

“Wettest year I’ve known in years,” said Dad, as I had looked out the front window.



I’d risen at 10:00 after just a few hours sleep, thanks to VR, my laptop and writing fireworks and, early in the morning returning revellers on the street being almost as noisy as the damn fireworks.



And, although I spent much of the day feeling ‘right proper dozy’, I made a point of staying awake, which had been rendered moderately easy, as there had been a reasonable film to watch, ‘Journey To The Centre Of The earth’ and, before it, a film I just HAVE to see again, ‘Dean Stanley’. And boy, was the dialogue excellent in it ~



‘Certainty is for those with a closed mind.’



‘Meeting someone once is happenstance, meeting them twice is coincidence… three times is… something else indeed.’



Tea-time we had the same meal as Christmas Day, which I’d really enjoyed, with a red wine which had been one of the finest I’ve tasted in years.



After a knee-joint rest, I’d watched ‘Sherlock Holmes’, more than a little surprised to find that I’d liked it as much as I had, thinking as I had originally, that bringing the character into the modern day would not work. But it had. Then again Stephen Moffat had written it, who is currently doing such a good job on ‘Doctor Who’.



I had also watched ‘Hackers’, a one-off drama/comedy satirising the News Of The World scandal. And boy, was it as near to the mark as possible. Yet, as the fellow who did ‘Drop The Dead Donkey’ had written the piece I had expected something special. And, I’d seen it. Something special that is.



And, just before I sat to write, I tried my camera, the one that’s been so problematic of late; the one that is ill and, it seems, needs to be replaced; much to my annoyance.



I just cannot conceive of a New Year starting without a camera, that can do films, [[with a mike, unlike my old Praktica thingie]] ~ so I can do my vidz, for friends.